Waiting
There is a wonder in the waiting. I smiling in the taking. I once was without you, and that was the hardest. The seconds pass. Breathes are counted. I breathed in thick and deep of the paper and the leather where they shocked my with electricity and shown light on my neck. Did the waiting help? 7 minutes into 10 minutes? How many breathes? My mind diving in and out of anxieties and worries. Focus, don't focus, focus on what you are focusing. What is the being in the being of the being called Michael looking at, and why is Michael's brain focusing on the next step of issue X, Y, or Z.
Waiting and worry struck me back in the car this morning on the way to work. Driving and thinking, even with the miasma of music my mind flits to things I can't control.
To wait itself, to avoid the anxiety, is that good enough?
To wait itself, to swim in the anxiety, is that bad enough?
I'm not sure what is best. Life is moment by moment. And by thinking about things, I used to do think it collapsed the wave form and prevented that future from happening. I've also endeavored to push things out of my mind so far, that the waveform wasn't effected by my conscious mind. Both seem to be useless compared to other forms of interaction with the falling of reality into my tunnel.
Are these hard times built to last?
