Relaxation
I find myself to be a very unproductive person. I think this might be in regards to high personal standards.
Or objectively I am not achieving what I could.
Does desire equal action?
By all intents and purposes I am more productive then most of my ancestors. Probably fewer hours work but more effort doesn't mean more done.
Professionally, I'm not sure where the big gaps in what I am doing and what should be done. Teaching is a profession that relies on constant refinement which happens outside the end of the year. But the desired goal of my students is certifications, and in that sense there has to be some teaching towards the test near the end of the term. Expected.
Personally, I feel my hobbies aren't where they should be. There is a pull in myself that gravitates to the overwhelming hustler mindset that permeates now. My parents being so economically focused is part of the problem. This causes issue with my understanding and belief and the fun I get from writing/music/reading/vibe coding/etc. I tend to frame my hobbies as productive adjacent and that if I don't produce income, acclaim, or something else.
I should step back and take a deep breath and be satisfied with the breadth I have made and taken.